My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
