FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
