I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
