I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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