So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
