I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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