I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize