therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize