I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
