Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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