Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need moral support for this bender
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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