omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
