My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
