So drunk, too bad you don't want this
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
