dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
