She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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