the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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