Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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