Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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