I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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