i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize