I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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