I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
