you would pick up someone in the library
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
