I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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