what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
