I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
