I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
