Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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