YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I believe in your delicious
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
