i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
