Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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