I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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