My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
