You can't motorboat a personality
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize