In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
