so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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