you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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