the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My ass is underappreciated
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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