i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
