Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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