So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i love accidental penises.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
