Is it normal to miss your booty call?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
