Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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