He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
