Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I want to be your penis for a week.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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