He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize