I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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