watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize