He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
