what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
