How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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