Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
