if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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