Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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