we're blogging at a bar
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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