their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
worst night to have a conscience
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
